Heibon 7. I Finally Snapped

Heibon 6. The Captain Appeared
Heibon 8. On my 20th night, I died

RAW: http://ncode.syosetu.com/n8321co/8/

This chapter is an unedited mess.
Proceed with caution.


My 20 days stay in the royal castle had ended and now I was inside a rather grandiose carriage.

It shook a lot but it was still tolerable.

But the one that took the most damage was my butt and lower back. Meanwhile, my nausea didn’t exactly help to keep my motivation.

Where was I going? Since I was kicked out from the royal castle, I was currently moving towards a place called the 『Beast Fang Forest』.

If I quote Rey-sama, he said that “It is a very dangerous place”.
If I quote Tonic-san, he said that “Like hell I would step into that place again”.
If I quote Cryhart-sama, he said that “It’s a fun playground”.

Ugh… anyway… It’s not exactly a place for a young woman like me (no matter the age) to live and provide for herself.

But having said that, I had no options to reject it.
Like literally.
So I resigned myself when I saw the carriage came in the middle of the night.

The royal family gave me the standard cookie-cutter apology in form of some living necessities like money, food, and clothes. Rey-sama gave me a huge parchment containing a magic square and a small knife. Tonic-san gave me a slim one-handed blade similar to a katana and a set of bow and arrow.

And with that, I was sent off with minimal possession to the place where I would live for the time being.
For the rest of my life, if I’m unlucky enough.

「We have arrived」

It was right around dusk when the driver called me.

As I descended from the carriage, I was greeted by a dense forest spread as far as eyes can see.

「Excuse me, is this place……?」

「There is a small hut and a small patch of land prepared for you if you advance further into this forest. Since this is as far as our carriage can take you, please proceed the rest of the journey yourself. And now, if you excuse me…」

That didn’t answer my question at all!
And why do the guards return with the carriage as well!?

「……No point arguing at this late, I guess」

In any case, standing here would not help me at all, so I started walking towards the direction that the carriage driver told me.

It had been 10 minutes since I started walking.
I felt quite anxious…
Can’t they give me a torch or something?

The sun had set completely and the moonlight couldn’t penetrate the greens of the forest.

In other words, it was pitch black.

Really.

It was so dark that I couldn’t even know if my eyes were open or not.

The feeling of darkness was overwhelming, especially since I came from a world with a lot of artificial lighting.

It was the first time I realized that this is the advanced darkness.

『Illuminate』

I pushed my left hand forward and recite the chant.

Soon after, a baseball-sized lump of light appeared from my palm and illuminated my surrounding. And since it was one of the elementary level light magic, the mana cost was next to nothing. I used to wonder whether I would need to use it, but it was surprisingly convenient.

Convenient indeed.

So I summoned another 3 lights around me and continue my journey.

A regular dark forest was enough to be considered a nightmare fuel, but unfortunately for me, this is the Beast Fang Forest. The monsters here were especially big and couldn’t be grouped together with the ones that you could find anywhere else.

Even inside this pitch-black darkness, I could somehow know that they were around.

Their sharp eyes were observing something from the distance and I knew exactly what they were aiming at.

I touched the sword on my waist, just holding its familiar handle gave me a boost in confidence.

Aaah, this is horrible…

Really, why do I have to experience something like this?

They were the one who dragged me here. I am the victim, you know?

Why did I receive such unfair treatment?

Is it because I was powerless?

Is it because I looked just average? Because I have no special ability? Because I’m not charming enough? Because my mana pool was average?

It’s not like I didn’t know their circumstances,

but that doesn’t mean that could treat me this horribly!

Aaaah… What the hell am I doing, stupid me?

They laughed at me and said that it would be “impossible” from the start, and yet I didn’t give up and still fought desperately. Being told that it was impossible boils me to the core. I fought hard to defy the reality according to my ideals. And because of that, I was often forced to experience the harsh truth called “reality”. I couldn’t move forward and had no other choice but to laugh it off and walked back.

But I wasn’t that naïve to simply chase after my dreams and ignore the reality altogether.

I wasn’t that desperate either to give up and accept everything with a laugh.

My way of life might sound half-hearted at best, but it didn’t change the fact that I still chase after my “dream” in this “reality”.

I had a dream.
Something I wanted to achieve.
Something I wanted to do.
And so I worked, I saved money, I learned, and I struggled. That was why I lived in this “reality”.

But all of them were snatched away in an instant.

All because I was “caught up” in this new terrible “reality”.

I had a dream.
Something I wanted to achieve.
Something I wanted to do.
And so I expended great effort for it.
To live in the future that I had always dreamed of.

And yet………

But those people… Not only they mock me, but they also kicked me like I was a pebble in their way.

They told me that there is no way I could go back. Even so, I refused to be so helpless in front of them. I refused to stand lower than those people who had abandoned me. I will do everything I could to obtain more strength.

Fine then. I accept this “reality”. But I refuse to let go my “dreams”.
Despite that, this was the result of my reality.

My dream was to make those people regret forcing this reality onto me. But in the end, I might not be able to fulfill my dream.

To be honest, there was no way that a regular human being like me could become strong enough to overpower those people within 20 days.

Maybe I should have given up in the first place. I felt bad for Rey-sama and Tonic-san since they helped me since the very beginning, but it was my honest opinion.

I give up…
I might sound like cheering myself up, but I realized that I was not strong enough to live in this world, so I think I did my best to gain as much strength as possible.

Ah…
No matter where I was, I couldn’t fulfill my own dreams after all…
I won’t be able to meet Rey-sama and Tonic-san anymore.

It was obvious for me that while in this forest, even the most courageous people would find themselves curling in fear for their own life, stranded between life and death.

This was the reality that was spread right before my very eyes.

「Haha… I’m so stupid…」

My own voice sounded so far away.

「how stupid… stupid… This is stupid!!!」

My emotions started to overflow after being repressed for so long.

Bitterness, sorrow, fear, humiliation, confusion, and of course, anger.

「Don’t fuck with me!!
The hell do you thing a human life is!?
You think you are better than the others!? Huh!?

Don’t drag other people into your freaking mess!!
Return my life! Return my dream! Return my future!!!

You say you don’t need me because I have no ability?
Don’t just leave an otherworlder stranded in your world!
Don’t you have any conscience? And yet you still beg another otherworlder to save you like it was nothing???

IS THERE ANY SANE HUMAN BEING THIS WORTHLESS WORLD!!?」

My chest was pounding after all those screaming.

The light had dispersed because my emotion was disturbed, so my surrounding was dyed in darkness once more.

I could sense the monsters approaching.
There was no light, so I was practically in their hunting zone.

I was their prey.

「Don’t joke with me… You want a piece of me!?
Like I would die and become your dinner!
Look at me!!! I will survive and you will regret ever abandoning me!!

You think I never handled wild animals back in my previous world, huh?!
There’s no way I would lose against some animals!
I am a freaking animal trainer!!!」

Back in my previous world, I was a certified dog trainer and worked in a pet shop.

It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that during 22 years of my life, there hasn’t been a single day that I didn’t meet any animals.

Not only common household pets like cats and dogs, but also cows, pigs, chickens, horses, deer, various kinds of birds, raccoons, foxes, snakes, and even fish.

Of course, I never handled wild animals like lions, but I had a few shares of experiences handling bears and boars.

I made quite a lot of contact by handling strange animals, but I had learned a lot from them.

「Don’t underestimate humans, you bastards!!!」

I pulled the sword from my waist, cast light magic once more, and I confronted the monsters in front of me.


TL Note:
I tried my best making her emotion stronger, but I had to paraphrase a lot of things.
BTW, go find 4 hidden texts

  • It was the first time I realized that this is the advanced darkness.
    (TL: the proper TL was “true darkness” but I can’t stop myself from inserting Spongebob reference)
Heibon 6. The Captain Appeared
Heibon 8. On my 20th night, I died

5 thoughts on “Heibon 7. I Finally Snapped”

  1. I got very confused heh… I was thinking… is this a re write of an already translated chapter? do you plan on doing all the earlier ones instead of carrying on from where you left off?

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